Category Archives: Embrace Life

You Can not Give what You Do not Have

You can’t love another human being unless you love and accept yourself. You cannot give what you don’t have. Your self-worth is very important. I am not referring to glorious vanity or your thinking more highly of yourself that you ought. I am referring to the mentality of accepting yourself wholly and without prejudice. It is a treasure and a delight when I meet someone who knows their own worth. When you are aware of who you really are (not who others think you are), you refuse to accept anything less than what you are worth. When I talk about ‘worth’ here, I am referring to your value. Surely, you are priceless.

There is no amount of money that can equal to your existence. There is no amount of money that can be paid to cover your presence. But value, in this case, has to do with how you feel about yourself, treat yourself and what thoughts you think towards yourself.

When you value yourself, others will follow suit in like manner. Many people stay in relationships that are unhealthy because they believe that their own worth is tied to another person. Believe me when I say that your worth is not engulfed within another person. If you are in this type of relationship, Get Out Now! And decide that you are worth it. You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship. Other people can help, teach, encourage and empower us but no one can place a measure of value upon you except you-alone. You must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are worthy! Say it with me: “I am Worthy of Love”

Though the world can be an unloving place, we all, in spite of what we show forth to others, we all have the capacity to love. Love is universal. Any person can recognize love with their heart. It may take longer for some people to recognize love because hurt has blocked them but given the chance, they will. Some people need more love and therefore, more patience to deal with. When you meet someone who seems the most unloving – they are the ones who really need it. They need something to penetrate the wall of hurt. The only power that can penetrate is a power called love, often nothing else. So, I urge you to be an action figure, a shero or hero, called Love!

Frenetta Tate is CEO of Frenetta Tate International, a Certified Women’s Life Empowerment Coach, Certified International Entrepreneur Coach, Business Strategist, Author and Speaker. I am passionate about helping men and women understand their unique advantage, embrace their personal power with clarity and navigate through life using effective strategies for their unique success. Feel free to email to or connect to @frenettatate on social media.

Say Hello to Your Good

I have been through a lot in my 40+ years of age. I have experienced a lot of pain, a lot of anguish, a lot of lies, a lot of distrustful women/men, a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted tears, a lot of wasted money, etc. Shall I go on? I have been able to glean from it all. Sometimes we can allow the bad things that happen to us get us down, make us to feel depressed, hopeless, sad and defeated and sometimes people say bad things to break us, do us wrong, take advantage of us, crush us and cause us to feel less than or not good enough by saying, “I DON’T WANT YOU!”.  The truth is WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I have something to say to ALL the BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs and YOU can declare this for your life, as well:

I DECLARE to all of the BAD THINGS and all of the I DON’T WANT YOUs that have been told to me in an attempt to bring me down and has not added progression to my life, I would like to proudly say that, “I don’t want you, either, I don’t need you, either!”. You have been no good to my life; nothing but experiences to try and destroy the life I am building. YOU will not succeed over me! I am a child of GOD, I am covered in his blood, I am protected and I will always succeed! I will never be defeated, not even by those repeated and demeaning words in my head that you said just to try and hold me back because I have learned the lesson from this even in YOUR attempt to defeat me and crush me. I WILL NOT LOSE! 

So, instead of allowing those words to continuously be thrown at me in my lifetime, I now say BACK to you, “I DON’T WANT YOU” in my life. THOSE WORDS CAN GO! Get out of my life. I have had it with you coming around, taking up space and leaving me empty. I have had it with you complaining and whining about the misery of life. I am sick of you whispering in my ear that situations are hopeless. I will not let you pull me down anymore. All the bad, inconsequential, nonsense, ridiculousness, outrageous, mean, uncaring, thoughtless and meaningless things are NOW no longer relevant to me. YOU no longer have POWER over me, NOT your WORDS or ACTIONS.

 To ALL the BAD STUFF, I have RISEN from the ashes of the pain that you have caused me in my life and I say, unequivocally and without a doubt that I DON’T WANT YOUR BAD KIND, ANYMORE! You have to go, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I will not let you continue to bring me down and cause me to feel like I am less than and not good enough. I don’t need the negative energy YOU BRING to my life. YOU are always trying to DRAIN my life from living the very best. I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE!  I don’t need the SORRY and the BLAME that your BAD STUFF bring when you come around. I don’t want you to come around anymore!   Leave me alone, don’t come knocking on my door, do not bother me, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come see me.  To ALL the BAD STUFF, You tried your best to tear me down, to break me down, to crush my spirit, to stump on my heart, to knock me down a peg, to take away my joy and to steal my peace. YOU TRIED and you HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT LOSE, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!  YOU HAVE NOT WON!  I HAVE WON!  I am STILL STANDING! I am standing tall, strong, bold and confident and that I WILL REMAIN!


I NOW open my arms to RECEIVE ALL of the GOOD that has been waiting on me, ALL the good that stood at the door and knocked but I would not let them in because the BAD was there. I open my arms wide to receive the beautiful gifts of LOVE, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, PATIENCE, THOUGHTFULNESS and JOY.

I walk into the beauty of my life without the BAD and I say, without hesitation, HELLO GOOD and WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Share Your Story:  Have you said goodbye to the bad and welcomed the good?

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at

Put Good Out Into Universe

Sometimes it takes a minute for people to truly see a blessing. Often, they have to be reminded when it gets cloudy. Sometimes it needs to be highlighted to them when they are off the mark and sometimes it is just not crystal clear until it is gone. The hole it creates can be unbearable but when the blessing returns – they know how to treat it. We are human. That is why we need each other – to remind us of our beauty, our value and our blessings. That is why we need the Holy Spirit – to reveal to us that which we do not know. If we knew the depth of things, we wouldn’t need growth. If we knew everything right now, we wouldn’t need to “experience” life. The fact is most often than not, ‘we know not what we are doing’ even when we think we know what is best but we try based on what we think we know. It is humbling how much grace is extended to you and I at each second.

  • Choose not to boast in someone elses’ misery and misguided life decisions because you were once there.
  • Choose not to rejoice that someone has fallen because you once fell.
  • Choose not to laugh at someone else getting their ‘karma’ because you also are subject to the same.

What happens to others can happen to you. The difference is Grace. Feel the blessing of it not happening to you and the opportunity you have to pray and wish someone well in their life.

Put good out into the universe with your words, thoughts, actions, agendas and intents. Be good. Only you know your intentions and the thoughts you are thinking. You judge yourself. I think if more of us looked within – we’d probably be very quiet and far more conscious about what we put out into the world.

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at

You Go First

There is a popular quote that has been attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world”. While I have found no true evidence that can support that Mahatma Gandhi said these actual words but something similar, “If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change.” “As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. We need not wait to see what others do.” I mention this quote and the similar quotes to share a recent observation that happens far too often. I have noticed that people will walk up to someone else, even complete strangers and tell them to do something to appease them when they have no idea what the person is dealing with, going through or processing within themselves in that moment.

I have always thought that kind of behavior to be insensitive. I was on the elevator recently and saw a lady who looked a bit sad, as if she was going to cry at any minute. I asked her, in a whisper, ‘Are you okay?’ she shook her head from side to side, as if to say “no”. Before I could reach back out to her to see what happened; the elevator stopped and entered a man, who looked around at everyone but set his attention on the woman, who just minutes before said that she was not okay. He turned to her and said, “SMILE!”. This person did not know her nor did he notice that she was almost in tears. All she could do was look at him. In that moment, as if in her defense,  I said in a happy tone, “You go first!”.

You see, I have yet to see anyone walk around smiling all day long and those who I have observed say “smile” to others are not smiling when they have said it, as was the case in the story above. I think many of us do not think about the things that we say to people. We can be oblivious to the needs of others. Some of us ramble off anything without forethought or understanding. Typically, when people have done this – they are not thinking about the person – they are thinking about what would satisfy themselves in that moment – controlling someone’s behavior or telling someone what to do. I do believe that many people think they are being an encouragement to the person when they do that however, I offer some thoughts to consider

  • Whatever you are asking someone else to do, you go first. For example, you be the one who smiles first.
  • Understand that everyone is not experiencing the same thing at the same time. You may be happy-go-lucky while the next person may not be feeling well nor in a good mood for various reasons.
  • Realize that you cannot control people or situations.
  • Refrain from telling people what to do, what kind of person to be and when to do it.
  • Be a light and as you are a light; in some way your light will brighten someone’s day and their countenance will change.
  • Your encounter may be for reasons you are not readily aware. Be discerning about the environment.

As I said earlier, You Go First!  If you see someone without a smile, give them yours! If you see someone without anything; if it is within your power to provide, then do it. You Go First! and by doing so, you will make someone’s day!

Question for reflection: Has this scenario ever happened to you, on either side? How did you handle it?


Frenetta Tate is an International Best Selling Author of “Hot Mama in High Heels”, Certified Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. Visit to learn more about her services and products.

Your Purpose is Connected to the World

When I decided that I wanted my life to change, I took action. Why? Because there is no one on this entire earth that could take action for me. Sure, I could tell them my problems in hopes that they would have a solution for me but the truth of the matter is If I want to change my life then I must do it myself. No one is handing out “new lives” No! You must go get it. In order for you to rise up in your purpose; you must first believe that you have one. It makes absolutely no sense for me to tell you about all these great things that I see in you and believe in you and you do not believe or understand it for yourself. It is time out for telling people things about what’s good for them when they have no clue what I am talking about. You see, I am not just some motivational speaker that is among the many numbers. As someone told me, “A motivational speaker comes a dime a dozen.” While this offended me, I have thought about it for a while now. You see, your purpose, once you know what it is, defines and sets you apart from the masses.

You are unique and what you are called to do, be and have on this earth is unique to you. Too many times, many of us get caught up in what someone else is doing and how great they have it when in reality, you can have that, too. As a matter of fact, you already possess it but you might be too focused on what someone else has in their garden that you have not and do not take the time to cultivate your own garden. Stop that. Start looking to yourself and what you feel in your heart that you can be doing to help make this world a better place. Whatever you have been given to do; it is connected to making this place better.

Remember, I am not just some motivational speaker. I am interested solely in helping you realize your purpose, change your life and impact the present. I am not interested in your money. I am interested in your change. You see, it makes no sense to chase after money when people are still dead to their dreams. I want for you to be alive to your purpose, not poor and looking, spending all of your money on things unworthy of your time. If you truly want to change your life; you’ve got to get connected to people that truly want to help you and have your best and highest interest as a goal. Too many people just want the money and abandon the greatest aspiration in this world: For people to accept and love themselves so that they may permeate what is around them with that same love.

My name is Frenetta Tate. If you don’t know me now; you might want to get to know me. If you want your life to change – I can help you but I am not handing out “new lives”. I want to show you some things; to give you a different perspective and to, by virtue of sharing my story, help you to see your purpose more vividly so that your impact upon this world can be even greater.

Questions for reflection: What have you been given to do?

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at