Category Archives: Live your best life

Say Hello to Your Good

I have been through a lot in my 40+ years of age. I have experienced a lot of pain, a lot of anguish, a lot of lies, a lot of distrustful women/men, a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted tears, a lot of wasted money, etc. Shall I go on? I have been able to glean from it all. Sometimes we can allow the bad things that happen to us get us down, make us to feel depressed, hopeless, sad and defeated and sometimes people say bad things to break us, do us wrong, take advantage of us, crush us and cause us to feel less than or not good enough by saying, “I DON’T WANT YOU!”.  The truth is WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I have something to say to ALL the BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs and YOU can declare this for your life, as well:

I DECLARE to all of the BAD THINGS and all of the I DON’T WANT YOUs that have been told to me in an attempt to bring me down and has not added progression to my life, I would like to proudly say that, “I don’t want you, either, I don’t need you, either!”. You have been no good to my life; nothing but experiences to try and destroy the life I am building. YOU will not succeed over me! I am a child of GOD, I am covered in his blood, I am protected and I will always succeed! I will never be defeated, not even by those repeated and demeaning words in my head that you said just to try and hold me back because I have learned the lesson from this even in YOUR attempt to defeat me and crush me. I WILL NOT LOSE! 

So, instead of allowing those words to continuously be thrown at me in my lifetime, I now say BACK to you, “I DON’T WANT YOU” in my life. THOSE WORDS CAN GO! Get out of my life. I have had it with you coming around, taking up space and leaving me empty. I have had it with you complaining and whining about the misery of life. I am sick of you whispering in my ear that situations are hopeless. I will not let you pull me down anymore. All the bad, inconsequential, nonsense, ridiculousness, outrageous, mean, uncaring, thoughtless and meaningless things are NOW no longer relevant to me. YOU no longer have POWER over me, NOT your WORDS or ACTIONS.

 To ALL the BAD STUFF, I have RISEN from the ashes of the pain that you have caused me in my life and I say, unequivocally and without a doubt that I DON’T WANT YOUR BAD KIND, ANYMORE! You have to go, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I will not let you continue to bring me down and cause me to feel like I am less than and not good enough. I don’t need the negative energy YOU BRING to my life. YOU are always trying to DRAIN my life from living the very best. I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE!  I don’t need the SORRY and the BLAME that your BAD STUFF bring when you come around. I don’t want you to come around anymore!   Leave me alone, don’t come knocking on my door, do not bother me, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come see me.  To ALL the BAD STUFF, You tried your best to tear me down, to break me down, to crush my spirit, to stump on my heart, to knock me down a peg, to take away my joy and to steal my peace. YOU TRIED and you HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT LOSE, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!  YOU HAVE NOT WON!  I HAVE WON!  I am STILL STANDING! I am standing tall, strong, bold and confident and that I WILL REMAIN!

YOU are NOT WELCOME here!  I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!  GOODBYE BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs!

I NOW open my arms to RECEIVE ALL of the GOOD that has been waiting on me, ALL the good that stood at the door and knocked but I would not let them in because the BAD was there. I open my arms wide to receive the beautiful gifts of LOVE, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, PATIENCE, THOUGHTFULNESS and JOY.

I walk into the beauty of my life without the BAD and I say, without hesitation, HELLO GOOD and WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Share Your Story:  Have you said goodbye to the bad and welcomed the good?

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Don’t Be Noone’s Puppet

When people know what buttons to push in us that will set us off; they will keep pushing those buttons because they have found delight in how much they are controlling us with OUR OWN buttons. Its like we are their personal puppet and they hold the strings! So, what do we do? We render the buttons powerless by knowing and managing ourselves to where what they do is of no effect on us. You need to know yourself well enough to know what sets you off, gets you riled up or causes you to come unglued.

You need to know yourself so you can have a personal strategy to deal with anything that comes against you in such a way whereby you are not giving the other person power over you. If you allow someone to control your emotions; they are controlling you.

Many of us allow others to control our very movements, who we talk to and where we go. If you see someone whom we have an ought with; we go the other direction. Well, they have just wielded a power they didn’t know they had – to control you. Don’t give anyone a set of strings to bounce your arms and legs up and down. Get control of your life or someone else will take the control. Stand up for yourself. Strengthen your backbone. Don’t be anyone’s puppet. 

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Put Good Out Into Universe

Sometimes it takes a minute for people to truly see a blessing. Often, they have to be reminded when it gets cloudy. Sometimes it needs to be highlighted to them when they are off the mark and sometimes it is just not crystal clear until it is gone. The hole it creates can be unbearable but when the blessing returns – they know how to treat it. We are human. That is why we need each other – to remind us of our beauty, our value and our blessings. That is why we need the Holy Spirit – to reveal to us that which we do not know. If we knew the depth of things, we wouldn’t need growth. If we knew everything right now, we wouldn’t need to “experience” life. The fact is most often than not, ‘we know not what we are doing’ even when we think we know what is best but we try based on what we think we know. It is humbling how much grace is extended to you and I at each second.

  • Choose not to boast in someone elses’ misery and misguided life decisions because you were once there.
  • Choose not to rejoice that someone has fallen because you once fell.
  • Choose not to laugh at someone else getting their ‘karma’ because you also are subject to the same.

What happens to others can happen to you. The difference is Grace. Feel the blessing of it not happening to you and the opportunity you have to pray and wish someone well in their life.

Put good out into the universe with your words, thoughts, actions, agendas and intents. Be good. Only you know your intentions and the thoughts you are thinking. You judge yourself. I think if more of us looked within – we’d probably be very quiet and far more conscious about what we put out into the world.

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Bullies Don’t Stop Because You Quit

Frenetta Tate_Don't quit

Reading this article at the link below made me think about acceptance of ourselves and how we can allow ourselves to be ‘controlled’ by other people’s opinions.

Iggy Azalea quits social media after body bullying

It actually saddened me a bit. Acceptance is key. You’ve got to accept and love yourself and everything about you, no matter how weird your toes look, or how you look in a bikini. For some, it takes time but get on that journey and be resolute!  This is crucial to life sustainability so that when someone talks about you badly – you can put them and their opinions in the right place and perspective.

Don’t you dare allow other people’s opinions to have so much power and influence over your life that you just quit. Everyone has an opinion about you – even those who don’t even know you nor have met you. Take it with one grain of salt and not give it so much importance, influence and power over your life, control how you behave and alter who you are, your mood and your decisions about your life.

Never Quit. Never give up. Each of us have great gifts and contributions to offer the world yet there are those who do not want to see us succeed or touch a life positively. They are all around us – some more vocal than others. We must keep forging ahead because you will not please everyone and everyone will not like you. They just won’t.

Two things:

  • If the information is true – agree with it – take the power away from the critical comment through agreeance; removing its ability to hurt you.
  • If it is not true, ignore it and move on. Don’t allow it time to settle in your heart and soul. Don’t give it real estate in your life.

In the entertainment business, you are in the spotlight and everything is magnified. Quitting won’t solve it. Bullies don’t stop because you choose to quit. Bullies don’t give up their quest because you are not there or you’ve taken a break. It only gives them more to bully you about, more to talk about. They will be there when you come back.

Face the bully and say, “I don’t care what you think about me – I am going to do me” and leave it that. The truth is they will talk. It will not stop. You don’t have to subject yourself to anything that is harming you yet you do have to decide whether you will change yourself and suppress what you love because of someone else’s view of you or if you will forge ahead anyway and walk boldly in your purpose without regret or apology. Go bless the people and stay focused on that. Don’t let their view control you!

Frenetta Tate is an International Best Selling Author of “Hot Mama in High Heels”, Certified Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. Visit www.frenettatate.com to learn more about her services and products.

Hater-ation is Motivation

Hateration is motivation

When someone does not like you, it is not about you. It is really about them. When they show, through their actions and words that they hate you. They hate what you stand for, they hate how you approach life, they hate how much you care about your appearance, they hate your dedication, they hate your confidence. There is something about the way you are choosing to live you life that they hate because they are not doing what they know they need to do in their own lives.

Instead of focusing on their own greatness, they rather tear down someone else. So, when you encounter someone like this, see it as motivation for you to keep doing great things in your life, keep being dedicated, confident and taking pride in your appearance. You are doing something right; otherwise they would not give you the time of day.

Don’t focus on why they don’t like you. Don’t engage at all. Keep going, choose your battles wisely and focus on continuing to be the best you can be. There is nothing you can do about a made up mind, someone deadest against you so don’t try to persuade others. Your response just might change them, encourage them, empower them to be just as dedicated and confident as you.

Keep your head held high and stay focused.

Question for reflection: Has someone hated on you lately? How did you handle it?

Frenetta Tate is an International Best Selling Author of “Hot Mama in High Heels”, Certified Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. Visit www.frenettatate.com to learn more about her services and products.