Category Archives: love

How Different Would the World Be

In recent years, months, weeks and days; Racism has showed up in many forms; from murders, arrests, various cases between individuals, companies to social media, workplace issues and law enforcement. I do not see nor do I comprehend how people can say that Racism does not exist or how they cannot see it happening around them.

Racism is not just a black and white issue. It is a human issue. I have gathered definitions of the most regularly used terms on this subject. I think it is important to be educated about what we are really talking about when it comes to race. It is a topic that affects every person on this entire planet. No one is exempt from being affected by Racism. Whether it is in your face or you ignore it. Your ignoring it does not cease it to be. Your saying that it does not exist does not cease it from existing. It will only not exist in your mind and what you choose to believe but it is laid bare. It is important that people recognize Racism as existing because you cannot change what you don’t see as a problem. You cannot change yourself if you do not believe you are contributing to the problem whether consciously or subconsciously.

I believe, first and foremost; we’ve got to get our understanding on the same page when it comes to racism. It is a touchy subject because no one wants to talk about it. No one wants to believe that they could possibly be harboring racism within themselves. It is okay, if you do. It is not okay, if you ignore it and continue to operate in such a way that affects others disproportionally and unfairly.


Racism consists of both prejudice and discrimination based in social perceptions of biological differences between peoples. Let me stop here and define a couple of terms.

Prejudice = prejudgment, or forming an opinion before becoming aware of the relevant facts of a case.

discrimination = action that denies social participation or human rights to categories of people based on prejudice.

It often takes the form of social actions, practices or beliefs, or political systems that consider different races to be ranked as inherently superior or inferior to each other, based on presumed shared inheritable traits, abilities, or qualities. It may also hold that members of different races should be treated differently.

Racial profiling is discrimination based on stereotypes. “Any police-initiated action that relies on the race, ethnicity, or national origin rather than the behavior of an individual or information that leads the police to a particular individual who has been identified as being, or having been, engaged in criminal activity.”

Racial discrimination refers to the separation of people through a process of social division into categories not necessarily related to races for purposes of differential treatment. Racial segregation policies may formalize it, but it is also often exerted without being legalized. Institutional racism (also known as structural racism, state racism or systemic racism) is racial discrimination by governments, corporations, religions, or educational institutions or other large organizations with the power to influence the lives of many individuals. Another definition, as coined and defined by Stokely Carmichael is “the collective failure of an organization to provide an appropriate and professional service to people because of their color, culture or ethnic origin”.

Modern Racism is characterized by outwardly acting unprejudiced while inwardly maintaining prejudiced attitudes, and displaying subtle prejudist behaviors such as actions informed by attributing qualities to others based on racial stereotypes, and evaluating the same behavior differently based on the race of the person being evaluated. This view is based on studies of prejudice and discriminatory behavior, where some people will act ambivalently towards black people, with positive reactions in certain, more public contexts, but more negative views and expressions in more private contexts.

As you can see, there are definitions of racism; its types and forms, yet I agree wholehearted with this definition, for it covers all of it:

 ANY distinction, exclusion, restriction or preference based on race, color, descent, or national or ethnic origin that has the purpose or effect of nullifying or impairing the recognition, enjoyment or exercise, on an equal footing, of human rights and fundamental freedoms in the political, economic, social, cultural or any other field of public life. (Part 1 of Article 1 of the U.N. International Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Racial Discrimination)


I wonder how different the world would be if we took one day and laid aside our assumptions and experiences, if we could just lay aside what we were taught by others and see people as simply human without all the stuff we add, without adding our experiences, our background, our race, our cultural categories and all those other things separating us from one another and see each other as just another human being. Could you do it? The Societal Nakedness Challenge. Can society be naked? Can we strip each other and ourselves of what separates us and just ‘BE’?

In order for our world to change in this area; we’ve got to first deal with our own hearts, individually and objectively. We’ve got to look at what we truly believe, what we were taught, how we operate, how we connect with others and what drives those interactions, what drives our decisions and why. This takes an extreme self-reflection; a look within ourselves with a commitment to change what is truly not right and fair. We literally have to separate all the stuff we were taught from what is right and true. I am not saying what you were taught was wrong because I have not idea what you were taught but I believe it is worth examining for our own edification and enlightenment.

We have to search our hearts and pull out what does not connect to the truth of what love really is. Those who are not willing to take an objective stance and look at those beliefs while being courageous enough to drop them and raise their consciousness will not change. As well, those who have a distorted view of what love is will not find it in the heart search because if we don’t have a good, wholesome understanding of love; then we are not going to fully understand the underlying wrongs of racism; no matter the form.

You see, from what I have read and studied, it all comes back around to love. Love for our fellow man, no matter the race, color, descent, national or ethnic origin. This is not easy. Many minds are ingrained with certain kinds of thinking that separates and divides, rather than unify.  So, let us pray about this issue because people are truly hurting and ‘hurt people hurt people’. We’ve got to pray with the understanding that only God can change hearts.

Dialogue helps.

Truth helps.

Understanding helps.

Clarity helps.

Desire helps.

We plant seeds. God brings the increase and the change.

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Frenetta Tate is an International Best-Selling Author, Certified Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

You Can not Give what You Do not Have

You can’t love another human being unless you love and accept yourself. You cannot give what you don’t have. Your self-worth is very important. I am not referring to glorious vanity or your thinking more highly of yourself that you ought. I am referring to the mentality of accepting yourself wholly and without prejudice. It is a treasure and a delight when I meet someone who knows their own worth. When you are aware of who you really are (not who others think you are), you refuse to accept anything less than what you are worth. When I talk about ‘worth’ here, I am referring to your value. Surely, you are priceless.

There is no amount of money that can equal to your existence. There is no amount of money that can be paid to cover your presence. But value, in this case, has to do with how you feel about yourself, treat yourself and what thoughts you think towards yourself.

When you value yourself, others will follow suit in like manner. Many people stay in relationships that are unhealthy because they believe that their own worth is tied to another person. Believe me when I say that your worth is not engulfed within another person. If you are in this type of relationship, Get Out Now! And decide that you are worth it. You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship. Other people can help, teach, encourage and empower us but no one can place a measure of value upon you except you-alone. You must know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are worthy! Say it with me: “I am Worthy of Love”

Though the world can be an unloving place, we all, in spite of what we show forth to others, we all have the capacity to love. Love is universal. Any person can recognize love with their heart. It may take longer for some people to recognize love because hurt has blocked them but given the chance, they will. Some people need more love and therefore, more patience to deal with. When you meet someone who seems the most unloving – they are the ones who really need it. They need something to penetrate the wall of hurt. The only power that can penetrate is a power called love, often nothing else. So, I urge you to be an action figure, a shero or hero, called Love!


Frenetta Tate is CEO of Frenetta Tate International, a Certified Women’s Life Empowerment Coach, Certified International Entrepreneur Coach, Business Strategist, Author and Speaker. I am passionate about helping men and women understand their unique advantage, embrace their personal power with clarity and navigate through life using effective strategies for their unique success. Feel free to email to frenetta@frenettatate.com or connect to @frenettatate on social media.

Say Hello to Your Good

I have been through a lot in my 40+ years of age. I have experienced a lot of pain, a lot of anguish, a lot of lies, a lot of distrustful women/men, a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted tears, a lot of wasted money, etc. Shall I go on? I have been able to glean from it all. Sometimes we can allow the bad things that happen to us get us down, make us to feel depressed, hopeless, sad and defeated and sometimes people say bad things to break us, do us wrong, take advantage of us, crush us and cause us to feel less than or not good enough by saying, “I DON’T WANT YOU!”.  The truth is WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I have something to say to ALL the BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs and YOU can declare this for your life, as well:

I DECLARE to all of the BAD THINGS and all of the I DON’T WANT YOUs that have been told to me in an attempt to bring me down and has not added progression to my life, I would like to proudly say that, “I don’t want you, either, I don’t need you, either!”. You have been no good to my life; nothing but experiences to try and destroy the life I am building. YOU will not succeed over me! I am a child of GOD, I am covered in his blood, I am protected and I will always succeed! I will never be defeated, not even by those repeated and demeaning words in my head that you said just to try and hold me back because I have learned the lesson from this even in YOUR attempt to defeat me and crush me. I WILL NOT LOSE! 

So, instead of allowing those words to continuously be thrown at me in my lifetime, I now say BACK to you, “I DON’T WANT YOU” in my life. THOSE WORDS CAN GO! Get out of my life. I have had it with you coming around, taking up space and leaving me empty. I have had it with you complaining and whining about the misery of life. I am sick of you whispering in my ear that situations are hopeless. I will not let you pull me down anymore. All the bad, inconsequential, nonsense, ridiculousness, outrageous, mean, uncaring, thoughtless and meaningless things are NOW no longer relevant to me. YOU no longer have POWER over me, NOT your WORDS or ACTIONS.

 To ALL the BAD STUFF, I have RISEN from the ashes of the pain that you have caused me in my life and I say, unequivocally and without a doubt that I DON’T WANT YOUR BAD KIND, ANYMORE! You have to go, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I will not let you continue to bring me down and cause me to feel like I am less than and not good enough. I don’t need the negative energy YOU BRING to my life. YOU are always trying to DRAIN my life from living the very best. I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE!  I don’t need the SORRY and the BLAME that your BAD STUFF bring when you come around. I don’t want you to come around anymore!   Leave me alone, don’t come knocking on my door, do not bother me, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come see me.  To ALL the BAD STUFF, You tried your best to tear me down, to break me down, to crush my spirit, to stump on my heart, to knock me down a peg, to take away my joy and to steal my peace. YOU TRIED and you HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT LOSE, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!  YOU HAVE NOT WON!  I HAVE WON!  I am STILL STANDING! I am standing tall, strong, bold and confident and that I WILL REMAIN!

YOU are NOT WELCOME here!  I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!  GOODBYE BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs!

I NOW open my arms to RECEIVE ALL of the GOOD that has been waiting on me, ALL the good that stood at the door and knocked but I would not let them in because the BAD was there. I open my arms wide to receive the beautiful gifts of LOVE, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, PATIENCE, THOUGHTFULNESS and JOY.

I walk into the beauty of my life without the BAD and I say, without hesitation, HELLO GOOD and WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Share Your Story:  Have you said goodbye to the bad and welcomed the good?

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Put Good Out Into Universe

Sometimes it takes a minute for people to truly see a blessing. Often, they have to be reminded when it gets cloudy. Sometimes it needs to be highlighted to them when they are off the mark and sometimes it is just not crystal clear until it is gone. The hole it creates can be unbearable but when the blessing returns – they know how to treat it. We are human. That is why we need each other – to remind us of our beauty, our value and our blessings. That is why we need the Holy Spirit – to reveal to us that which we do not know. If we knew the depth of things, we wouldn’t need growth. If we knew everything right now, we wouldn’t need to “experience” life. The fact is most often than not, ‘we know not what we are doing’ even when we think we know what is best but we try based on what we think we know. It is humbling how much grace is extended to you and I at each second.

  • Choose not to boast in someone elses’ misery and misguided life decisions because you were once there.
  • Choose not to rejoice that someone has fallen because you once fell.
  • Choose not to laugh at someone else getting their ‘karma’ because you also are subject to the same.

What happens to others can happen to you. The difference is Grace. Feel the blessing of it not happening to you and the opportunity you have to pray and wish someone well in their life.

Put good out into the universe with your words, thoughts, actions, agendas and intents. Be good. Only you know your intentions and the thoughts you are thinking. You judge yourself. I think if more of us looked within – we’d probably be very quiet and far more conscious about what we put out into the world.

Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Origin of True Beauty

Whether your hair is curly, kinky, straight, braided up, weaved in or wigged up; You can have hair down your back, Your eyelashes can be as long as your pinky finger and your teeth can be as white as dove soap. You can have on a pile of makeup and look completely flawless and stunning that no one would disagree.

You can strut when you walk and command attention from the opposite sex with your body. However, it will always remain that your outer appearance will pale in comparison to your inner appearance. No matter what you do on the outside, true beauty comes from within.

It is not in your hair or your clothes, it is not in your strut or your ability to flirt. How you treat people, talk to people and care about people matters more. Your integrity, kindness and authenticity speaks louder.

Adorn your earthly frame yet spend the same amount of time, if not more, on your inner self because what is on the inside will show up on the outside and that is what people will experience.

Check this out on Slide Share at http://www.slideshare.net/FRENETTA/the-origin-of-beauty

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Frenetta Tate is an International Best-Selling Author, Certified Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Event Strategy Consultant and President of EmpowerMe365™. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com