Don’t say anything at all

Strongly consider the effects of your speaking death or misfortune over someone else’s life. We are all connected. When you do it to others, you are doing it to yourself. I wonder if the tables were turned and it was done to you, in your face, repeatedly, day after day. I don’t think you would like it at all. Consider the other person is just as human as you are, flaws, faults, frailties and mistakes. If you knew the power of your words (whether in jest or not), you would be far more careful about what you say about yourself and others. Consider your words carefully before you speak them, over your own life and anyone else’s. Think. It is not cool or dope to do it. Choose not to encourage or engage it in conversations with others. You will feel better having restrained yourself. I encourage you to adopt this very simple task: if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Speak positively about yourself and others. If you don’t want it to come true for you, don’t say it.

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Frenetta Tate is CEO of Frenetta Tate International, a Certified Women’s Life Empowerment Coach, Certified International Entrepreneur Coach, Business Strategist, Author and Speaker. I am passionate about helping Entrepreneurs understand their unique advantage, embrace their personal power with clarity and develop a unique business strategy for their business growth and sustainability. email to frenetta@frenettatate.com or connect to @frenettatate on social media.

 

Say Hello to Your Good

I have been through a lot in my 40+ years of age. I have experienced a lot of pain, a lot of anguish, a lot of lies, a lot of distrustful women/men, a lot of wasted time, a lot of wasted tears, a lot of wasted money, etc. Shall I go on? I have been able to glean from it all. Sometimes we can allow the bad things that happen to us get us down, make us to feel depressed, hopeless, sad and defeated and sometimes people say bad things to break us, do us wrong, take advantage of us, crush us and cause us to feel less than or not good enough by saying, “I DON’T WANT YOU!”.  The truth is WE ARE GOOD ENOUGH!

I have something to say to ALL the BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs and YOU can declare this for your life, as well:

I DECLARE to all of the BAD THINGS and all of the I DON’T WANT YOUs that have been told to me in an attempt to bring me down and has not added progression to my life, I would like to proudly say that, “I don’t want you, either, I don’t need you, either!”. You have been no good to my life; nothing but experiences to try and destroy the life I am building. YOU will not succeed over me! I am a child of GOD, I am covered in his blood, I am protected and I will always succeed! I will never be defeated, not even by those repeated and demeaning words in my head that you said just to try and hold me back because I have learned the lesson from this even in YOUR attempt to defeat me and crush me. I WILL NOT LOSE! 

So, instead of allowing those words to continuously be thrown at me in my lifetime, I now say BACK to you, “I DON’T WANT YOU” in my life. THOSE WORDS CAN GO! Get out of my life. I have had it with you coming around, taking up space and leaving me empty. I have had it with you complaining and whining about the misery of life. I am sick of you whispering in my ear that situations are hopeless. I will not let you pull me down anymore. All the bad, inconsequential, nonsense, ridiculousness, outrageous, mean, uncaring, thoughtless and meaningless things are NOW no longer relevant to me. YOU no longer have POWER over me, NOT your WORDS or ACTIONS.

 To ALL the BAD STUFF, I have RISEN from the ashes of the pain that you have caused me in my life and I say, unequivocally and without a doubt that I DON’T WANT YOUR BAD KIND, ANYMORE! You have to go, GET OUT OF MY LIFE. I will not let you continue to bring me down and cause me to feel like I am less than and not good enough. I don’t need the negative energy YOU BRING to my life. YOU are always trying to DRAIN my life from living the very best. I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE!  I don’t need the SORRY and the BLAME that your BAD STUFF bring when you come around. I don’t want you to come around anymore!   Leave me alone, don’t come knocking on my door, do not bother me, don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t come see me.  To ALL the BAD STUFF, You tried your best to tear me down, to break me down, to crush my spirit, to stump on my heart, to knock me down a peg, to take away my joy and to steal my peace. YOU TRIED and you HAVE FAILED. I WILL NOT LOSE, I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED!  YOU HAVE NOT WON!  I HAVE WON!  I am STILL STANDING! I am standing tall, strong, bold and confident and that I WILL REMAIN!

YOU are NOT WELCOME here!  I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU ANYMORE!  GOODBYE BAD STUFF and the infamous I DON’T WANT YOUs!

I NOW open my arms to RECEIVE ALL of the GOOD that has been waiting on me, ALL the good that stood at the door and knocked but I would not let them in because the BAD was there. I open my arms wide to receive the beautiful gifts of LOVE, KINDNESS, FAITHFULNESS, PATIENCE, THOUGHTFULNESS and JOY.

I walk into the beauty of my life without the BAD and I say, without hesitation, HELLO GOOD and WELCOME TO MY LIFE!

Share Your Story:  Have you said goodbye to the bad and welcomed the good?

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Frenetta Tate is a Motivational Orator, International Author, Women’s Empowerment Coach, Business Consultant and Partner. Learn more at http://www.frenettatate.com

Power Through Preparation

I ran from all Math classes throughout high school because I failed it once, didn’t understand it and didn’t want to try and then fail again. I was fearful. I was forced to take it in College. Every time College Algebra I or II came up on my list of next courses, I would push it back until they were the last courses that I had to take in order to get my Bachelor’s degree. The last courses. So, I told my Academic Counselor (AC), ” I am not taking those courses. I just give up. I will fail them anyway so I will not try. I just won’t get my degree! I am done.” She tried her best to encourage me but my mind was made up. So, I talk to a friend who said, “Are you crazy? You are going to let some petty Algebra class keep you from getting your Bachelor’s degree? That’s just stupid, Frenetta! You need to step up” I was appalled; how dare my friend talk to me like that?!

So, I thought it over and I called my Academic Counselor and said, ” Okay. I will take these classes but if I am going to succeed; I need the TOP Algebra Facilitator you have at this Campus! I need to be able to understand them. I need someone who has received good reviews from other students and I need you to make that happen.” My AC said, “Okay but I can’t make those decisions” (Her tone said, “Um, the audacity of you to make demands. This is about you. You are the one who needs the class, not me!”) So, as soon as I reviewed my course schedule; I immediately started preparing. I bought Algebra study guides, highlighters, post it notes, a special notebook to record examples of concepts and books on algebra concepts and topics.

I was ready to face my fear and FIGHT my way through to understand College Algebra because even though my Academic Counselor did not say it. I heard her loud and clear. It was up to ME to make it happen! No matter what kind of facilitator I had – it was on ME. Period. So, I started preparing by getting my mind right. I had to stop having the failure mentality because it was hindering me from accepting the winning attitude.

The first day of class, my facilitator was awesome! She took her time, she explained the concepts plainly, she gave me hope, she helped me HELP MYSELF. But she was unrelenting! She kept calling me to the board. Many times, I was embarrassed because I had no idea how to solve the problems. But I kept going to the board. She was so dedicated to her students’ learning! She inspired me! I was WINNING! I realized I was gaining and sustaining my power through my ongoing preparation and engagement in the class.

Every weekend, I was in tutorials, every tutorial class University of Phoenix provided; I was in it. Towards the end, I was in those same tutorials helping others. Then, after a while, when she’d call me to the board, I was willing to go because I CHANGED MY MIND about Algebra. I was no longer running or fearful and it no longer had the power over me. I had the power over it. I graduated and was one of the keynote speakers that year and guess who was one of the TOP Facilitators of the Year – My facilitator!

As I left the stage from doing my commencement speech; she was awarded! I realized that I asked for the TOP and I received the TOP. People come into our lives in answer to a prayer, a thought or even an expression; we just have to connect the confirmations. The universe responds to what we put out into the world with a great measure of accuracy.

I share this story to encourage you. No matter what you are seeking to do, whether it is business, personal or career; you CAN do anything you set your mind to do but FIRST, you must ‘set your mind’ and then take the necessary actions for your success and you get your power through your preparation.

I often hear, “face your fear”. I have said it myself. But we have to prepare to face our fears; mentally, emotionally and physically.

Here are four thoughts to keep in mind:

1. Get your mind right about what you need to accomplish.

2. Abandon the negativity surrounding it by ceasing to speak ill of it.

3. Proceed to prepare in advance, as it is applicable to the situation.

4. Give it your very best effort coupled with an attitude of persistence.

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Frenetta Tate is an International Best Selling Author of “Hot Mama in High Heels”, Certified Empowerment Coach and Motivational Speaker. Visit www.frenettatate.com to learn more about her services and products.

Stand Outside the Window of Life

I stand outside the window of life peering in to see what needs to change. Maybe I need to move the furniture around, change out the sofa, change the color theme or throw out what pieces are not working. Either way, I am responsible for the interior design of my life – no one else. It is easy to look at others and point the finger at what they are doing and not doing to relieve the pressure off of ourselves and what we know we are doing that is not right. I have found myself in the position of placing blame when I realized that the best value I can add to my own life is to look at myself with truthful eyes and make conscious changes so that I can show up in the world in a more consistent and loving manner. You see, when we shift the focus from others to ourselves; it is only then that we have the opportunity to grow and truly allow ourselves to shine.

Hiding behind the mistakes, faults and short comings of others leaves us unchanged, unenlightened and with an inability to change the world. We can only change the world when we have committed to changing ourselves. We must realize the contributions we make to the world as an individual. Any change that we want to make begins within us, not outside of us. Each of us have to make a conscious decision about how we live, operate and communicate with others. One person can not change the entire world. It takes each of us making an individual commitment to be a better citizen. Yes, a better human being!

Often, we do not realize our connectedness. We are not islands, although I think many of us would like to be alone in this world without others who challenge and push us toward life betterment. Many of us would rather not ruffle the feathers within our hearts to start thinking about our contributions, and the affects thereof, in this world. Many of us would rather stay put, stay isolated and stay under the shadows of someone else; unwilling to take responsibility for the role they play in life but it cannot be this way. We are not islands. We need each other and when we are misaligned; we feel it at the core of us. We feel out of whack and disconnected. Get connected! Go where you are embraced for who you are. Go where you are wanted and valued. Go where you feel tremendous love and support. Go back to the connection!

We all may not have a star role. We may just be a part of the supporting cast but even as a supporting cast member; we still have a responsibility to contribute to the potential greatness of the film of life.  This is not to gain awards, status or popularity but to do it simply because it is the right thing to do and simply because of your commitment to stand on the outside of your life and peer in to see what needs to change. A prelude to changing the world is changing yourself.

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Frenetta Tate is an International Best-Selling Author, Certified Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker, Event Strategy Consultant and President of EmpowerMe365™, which comprises of her Coaching Programs and Speaking platform, Building Powerhouses of Influence and Inspiration. Follow her on Twitter @frenettatate

Do It While You Have The Time

Pardon me but if you need to forgive someone, restore a relationship, make amends, apologize to someone, release someone, let go of a past mistake, let go of a grudge, give someone a break, stop hating on someone, stop being jealous of someone, stop blocking someone from obtaining something, stop being mean and unforgiving towards someone, stop speaking negative things over someone’s life, stop ignoring someone, stop giving the silent treatment to someone, stop holding someone’s feet to the fire over something. DO IT.

If you owe someone debt or favor, said you were going to do something for someone, have intentions on doing something, saying something, helping someone – try your best to be a person of your word and DO IT.

If you need to speak a blessing, say words of encouragement, acknowledge a good deed, hug someone, congratulate someone, call someone to say hi, send a card, stop by to say hi. Say it and DO IT.

WHATEVER it is that you need to do or say, WHATEVER is nudging at your heart to do or say; I strongly encourage you to lay down your pride, let your ego bow down, stop worrying about what people will say, stop being afraid and stop being so easily distracted by idiotic, nonsensical things that will not matter tomorrow.

Do it while you have the time.

Be a “make it right” Maker today and beyond.

Frenetta Tate is a Certified Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker and International Best-Selling Author and Co-contributor to the New York Times Best-Seller, Business Model YOU, Visit http://www.frenettatate.com to learn more about her services and products.